Behind the power curve

Every relationship I've had I have always been flying behind the powercurve. It's a term used by airforce pilots to describe their awareness of their surroundings.

I used to tell them it will get better soon and it doesn't, it hasn't. Face it, to make a career you have to sacrifice personal gain. To be successful in personal gain you probably need to sacrifice some career.

The problem arises when you want both, and you want them at the exact same time, then you start to take liberties where you deem necessary. Insulting your significant other, not working as hard as you could. We're all guilty of it in some fashion, I'm guilty of it right now. But as the cliche goes, you have to first admit to a problem before it will get better.

I feel bad for flying behind the power curve, to make my life better, to meet the long-term-safety objective. Than to fly by the seat of my pants always and forever. Tonight I realized that I've made the right decision this time.

Traveling light is the only way to fly.

Phos, Fluor, Journal, Proposals, and Sleep

One of these I haven't been getting for a long time. I've been sleeping about 5hours a night lately, well, actually 4hours of sleep every 12hours. This paper, and independent research proposal have consumed me.

I've been sleeping in the library, a term we collectively associate with another grad student in the department. A true slacker of sorts, I feel that if he got the title of PhD and I got the same, then my title isn't worth the paper it's printed on.

My life is consumed with "I want to do that" right now, but there is no time for it, my time management lately has been pretty proficient. by that I mean, I've been mostly passing the buck to others around.

I've spent more time at school the past 3 weeks than I have ever before. I love getting things accomplished and lately it seems like my learning curve has been increasing at a much faster rate than it ever has. That's to be expected.

I think my run is done, now its time to change the parameters and run something else.

Future, Past, Yin-Yang

I welcome the future, because I hate contemplating on the past, unless it happens to cycle around, then I hate the future and long to be in the past.