I shouldn't read my ex's journal entries from 3 years ago. I don't know what they would say now I'm sure it would include how much of a shit I am.
I don't know what to say other than I loved her more than anything, more than school, more than my computer, more than knowledge itself. She was the absolute beacon of happiness in myself and I feel like I ruined it, I just let it burn to the ground.
People expect me to be hurt for a while, they expect me to bury myself into my work. If anything I feel like i need a break from most things right now, this apartment, this job, this emotional state.
I cannot do this on my own, somethings require help from friends. Unfortunately most of them are too far away or too busy to babysit me during these difficult times.
I hate Sundays.
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